A BLUR DIARY: Ready As I'll Ever Be?(A.D.H.D. Gangnam Style)

Wan'na make this as "ADHD" as possible?
Because I am proud of my "ADHD",
because it means I have to much blood flow to a certain area of the brain driving me insane but I maintain on a creative mind frame.

I've overcome so much,
but I am just now finalizing the finishing touches on over coming the crutches through fight of *REBIRTH'* to become *REBORN* that been holding me back?
I've been through some HELL?
And I'm sure there's plenty more to come?

Been through the ringer of fiery hoops of the confusion wheel called; PSYCHOTHERAPY
To a place of now attempting to build a life,
the first steps are; (1)stability and structure, which I will be ready for step(2)getting a two day a week job, by the 1st of October, but, then after that(which has been my biggest weakness), the next step is going social media viral, which I'll have an extra 400 dollars a month(cause I'll give my mom 200), to invest towards creative video content, which is a LOT of money to me, an extra hundred a week to play with, you kidding me, I never seen that type of money, I never even touched money. And that is really AGONIZING for people that don't know what it is like to not be able to take care of your self properly, fend for your self, people must assume mental illness is a CHOICE but in the community I am in, they are the raddest people I have ever met.

And although things are pretty agonizing at the moment, just because of this tornadic cycle, battle of seroquel at night(about 100milligrams), and then that makes you so zombified in the morning, so I drink so much caffeine, and I just made it through a MAJOR bout of depression. And now I've finally reached the point where I just won't take seroquel for sleep anymore, if I sleep, I sleep, if I don't, oh well. And I've finally gotten over caffeine. I drink only tea, which is really healthy, but I am so over caffeine, I will drink tea only medicinally when a headache from HELL arrives. And now I really need therapy to finalize the preparation for the last 10 days of this month, my goal is next month to have a fully stable month. An entire month stable. And once I'm completely in the clear, abstinent, got all my disciplines in place, and I am "mental illness rehabilitated", I am going to do a year COUNT before I start working on two 'self-help'style books, one about my experience with addiction, and one about my experience with mental illness, because I been through 8 years of each, I paid my dues, no more, I am done with all of this stuff. They won't be books about giving advice, more about hope and faith, but need at least 3 years completely stable before one can even give any advice, because right now, I know NOTHING?

And remember, Have Fun In Life!!!