Welcome, I am Phillip, a human being possessed by a fallen angel named Blur, or just completely and utterly INSANE, not sure?
check out zee youtubessssssss. thnx
(Morbid as Fuggggggggg WARNING) #TheHeartBreakOflife (don't say I didn't warn'ya) How many people out there feel that they have been owned by people(and this world)their entire LIFE?
I have "HAD IT", nobody owns me, dare, (LIFE be?; -"nothing personal"-, is right, personal off limits, this is about helping people's lives, easing suffering, making a difference, making dreams come true)
It's a human thing, highly intuitive, it's horrifying to watch how people don't respect people's freedom, but then WANT their own, freedom, while trampling on others, and they the level of RESENTMENT, that people have, towards other people's freedom, is sickening.
One example, would be, when you choose to be alone, single, loveless, ANTI-LOVE, and be looked at as a PRODUCT, a possession to obtain, like you are "on the market", it's sickening, and shows how fake this all is, cause if I was homeless, in filthy clothing on the corner, thin to the bone, no muscle, drawn, grey hair, warn out physically, oh, nobody would "WANT ME" then, "I'm a problem", this world makes me SICK.
But you start to thrive in life, all of a sudden you are "HIGH VALUE", what the fudge, 'Eye Live Alone - Stand Alone - Die Alone - In The Palms Of Gods Sweet Cup', and the level of resentment, people have towards innocent people, with the secret intention that you a "mark", but as soon as see you don't want anything intimate, more than friendship, you're resented be a person... (go live your own life, leave others lives alone, it's their life)
BUZZ, IT AIN'T HAPPENING
holy cow, how think that make me feel, I want to be left the hell alone, nobody understands this pain, all have different pain; how dare trample on freedom.
And this is just in general, the weight of this world feel all time, have had it with resentments all cause of trying to choose FREEDOM, it's like that saying that people are loyal when it's convenient to them.
I'm tired, I just want INDEPENDENCE
It's like the Blondie song, "you can go your own way". (oh wait, that's Fleetwood Mac lol)
YouTube, YouTube Army, was started to build a SYSTEM, that works for people, not be enslaved to people 24/7, it's weird, have dreams too, I want to be creative too! am CREATIVELY OBSESSED, 'live by the sword, die by the sword', this is my WAY OF THE SWORD, some dabble, my creative mind needs at least 10 more lifetimes worth of time, to cram into??????????????? almost 18 years left countdown, in a couple days, fit 10 lifetimes worth of time, into 18 years, and that's the fight against evil, on top of all this madness.
BUZZ OFF, Buzz Lightyear, or Buzz Aldron👯💔💪👊
GoodMorningCruelWorld (just waking up after another headache, it's 8:51 pm, and all I have on my mind is, Work Work Work and some more Work!, to succeed and save my moms life, the noise in my head is LOUD right now, fight for dreamers, that's different, but to build a system that works, a machine, only so much one person can do with limited amount of human time, need ten days time in one day cycle, would be grand)Good Day!
Think tomorrow's blog will be positive. Sorry for the morbid hopeless angst, but mind is LOUD, there are lots of us that feel imprisoned aliens here on earth, it's overwhelming, it feels that all earthlings have a motive, a "hidden agenda", but I know it's not true.
And I don't think I'll ever be free,. but I crave freedom, so bad, it's almost as if to say that, "the foolishness of this world, isn't even worth it, don't get caught up in the mix, go live your life and find happiness, this worlds problems is not your responsibility", I wouldn't wish this pressure on anyone, thinking back to childhood, before knowing about all this worlds DRAMA, holy cow, was happy, and people take children's freedom away, force them to be involved with madness, cause once you enter this Rabbit Hole called LIFE, you can't leave(until death), once you see, you can't un-see.
The tensions are HIGH
I ended thinking, while back, about a fellow Aries named, Lady Gaga, and Steven Seagal, and no-joke, they thrive off pressure.
I adapted the monology, that I do best in pressure too, but even worse, am cursed????? Was thinking, tell people, -when a path opens, you walk down that path, till you come out the other side-, and believe, that whatever thought comes to you FIRST, is your truth, and driving today, I though, "what path opened that I was supposed to walk down?",
The path that kept opening up? The Path of the "Lone-Warrior".
And further, are you a lover, or a fighter, to realize you're actually a fighter, love, emotions, nooooooooo :o
GoodNightCruelWorld "there's nothing more motivating, than a broken heart" #theblurvincicodez
(Warning: Morbid As Fugggggggg💔 at this point, just call me, Edblur Allan POE) Sorry I've been away. Not like the one person I wish reads this, would, you know how hurtful and pathetic that feels, and how fake this makes the world, and how she made me feel like a pure MONSTER, for me not to be worth anything, or hold any value, to realize how WORTHLESS I truly am, and how fake human is.
To realize the truth, that she never thinks about me, or checks on how I'm doing, not like I try to check up on her, I don't do that, someone doesn't want me in their life, I try to vanish, but my feelings haven't went away no matter how bad I try to forget, and dissociate, and erase my mind, I'm trying. and to realize she never cared about me, not at all, not even a grain, but somehow, captured my heart for eternity, and now the only escape, is death, and I would die right this moment, if to know that she cared.
THE "HUMAN" RACE
and the truth is, this person made me feel so hideous to be a man, I hate my self, I just want to vanish, and be erased from existence.
I wish that you cared.
"I Am Frankenstein"
That is a beautiful song tho, as dark as this post is, maybe the most beautiful song I've ever heard, because I relate to it more than any song I've ever heard, and it's true, I want absolutely nothing to do with human love, EVER!!!!!!!!! Song makes me want to go to sleep and pray, I will probably fall asleep to this song for an entire month, and fall deep, into my lonely nightmares, that grant me a moment of still comfort, going to take a nap now(and every time the rain falls, I will think of you).
I don't even want to share this blog, people can read it after I'm gone, and chip me apart(my own human family)
A headache from life, of course. I just want to ESCAPE I understand completely why people end their lives, they want to escape HUMAN(humans, cause there's more that cause damage, than heal wounds) nobody wants to admit that harsh truth, but for a psychic like me, the noise is LOUD and you're absolutely not allowed to escape, and be left alone, and go and live FREE
GoodNightCruelWorld (don't want people to misunderstand that, when your main PTSD is people, and the pain in your head from people, is so LOUD, and you've literally been hurt by people since a baby, you're always being re-wounded and triggered by people, there's no escape except to try to find solitude)
but don't ever end your life, you can learn to deal with the pain, our pain thresholds rise over time, our tolerance for pain, that is scientific, that gets easier, although I feel like a prisoner here, and a prisoner to human beings, am determined to make it to the END.
How on earth I've fallen in love with death, I guess it was finalized after losing YOU.
And it feels good, to long for the end of this pain, of life, of not being allowed to live, of being so super psychic that you know how everyone feels, about you, and you can see, DEEP, into everyone's souls, nobody know how lonely and overwhelming that it, and then people still come around thinking love is a CHOICE, to try to fill that deadly void, is a prison I shall not enter.
What's the POINT of love, if it is TEMPORARY, I don't love anybody TEMPORARILY, I've lost life that I still love, and will ALWAYS love.
some people just don't know the meaning 'Sacrifice; is the greatest form of LOVE', what are you sacrificing? what are you willing to sacrifice? do you love humanity? do you care about our human family?
seeking material, flesh, possessions, breaks us away from what is ETERNAL, life.
be your eternal being
I now FIGHT for the old GODZ and the NEW ("there's nothing more motivating, than a broken heart")
My Sword Is Yours
GoodNightCruelWorld
Oh? And before I forget?
When I do meet "The Angel of DEATH", I am going to PUNCH HIM square in his FACE
