Day 12/13/14: Blurz - How Many Days Can I Stay Alive, Diary(Closing Time)

(Warning: Morbid As Fugggggggg💔
at this point, just call me, Edblur Allan POE)
Sorry I've been away.
Not like the one person I wish reads this, would,
you know how hurtful and pathetic that feels, 
and how fake this makes the world,
and how she made me feel like a pure MONSTER,
for me not to be worth anything,
or hold any value,
to realize how WORTHLESS I truly am,
and how fake human is.

To realize the truth,
that she never thinks about me,
or checks on how I'm doing,
not like I try to check up on her,
I don't do that,
someone doesn't want me in their life,
I try to vanish,
but my feelings haven't went away no matter how bad I try to forget,
and dissociate,
and erase my mind,
I'm trying.
and to realize she never cared about me,
not at all,
not even a grain,
but somehow,
captured my heart for eternity,
and now the only escape,
is death,
and I would die right this moment,
if to know that she cared.

THE "HUMAN" RACE

and the truth is, this person made me feel so hideous to be a man, I hate my self, I just want to vanish, and be erased from existence.

I wish that you cared.

"I Am Frankenstein" 

That is a beautiful song tho, as dark as this post is, maybe the most beautiful song I've ever heard, because I relate to it more than any song I've ever heard, and it's true, I want absolutely nothing to do with human love, EVER!!!!!!!!! Song makes me want to go to sleep and pray, I will probably fall asleep to this song for an entire month, and fall deep, into my lonely nightmares, that grant me a moment of still comfort, going to take a nap now(and every time the rain falls, I will think of you).

I don't even want to share this blog, people can read it after I'm gone, and chip me apart(my own human family)

tired heart