FEELINGS 2

Human Interaction; Is AGONIZING
Just Wait Till Everyone HATES Me

Living Your Life On The Internet 
Is So PAINFUL
People Have No Idea
How Much COURAGE It Takes
To Speak Your Mind
When You Are A FREAK

To Put Your Self Out There
For A Cause That Is So Dear To You
You Do It Because You LOVE GOD That Much
To Have A Voice
And Speak Your Mind
And Stand Up For What You Believe In
Is Not Easy

But To Not Do It Is EXCRUCIATINGLY Worse

Putting Your Self Out There
Having To Worry About
; Hatred/Violent Tendencies/Ill Will/and/Jealousy
Upon You
Having To Live Your Life
Looking Over Your Shoulder

You Can Not Let Anybody Get Close To You
And People Will make You Feel Bad About This
They Will Play On Your Emotions

So You Harden Your HEART
Toughen Your SKIN
Embolden Your SOUL
Embrace GOD
Only GOD Can Comfort THIS

And The LOVE Of A WOMAN
Would Be GOLDEN
But You Are So AFRAID

So You Keep Crawling Forward
Shivering
From The Psychic Cold 
Of This World
But You Don't SURRENDER
To Anyone Except
Your One True LOVE
GOD

"Don't ever kill your self, but don't be afraid to die." ~ BLUR

"Grieving", A Poem By BLUR

Grieving this WORLD
Grieving a GIRL
She was my WORLD
But now she's just GONE

What do I do?
Hide in my ROOM
Feeling the GLOOM
Of the DOOM
Coming SOON
Praying for a full MOON
To come and SAVE ME

i HATE LOVE
cause LOVE HURTS
so BAD
it make me ANGRY and MAD
I wan'na tear down all the WALLS
of my LOST SELF

She took a PIECE of ME
That I'll never get BACK
But I wish she at least HELD that PIECE
instead of THROWING it AWAY

I now hold my life up as a ceiling of rocks
As I watch in HORROR as I keep getting hit
Bracing my self for what I know is coming
"Oh Nooooo",
Now the floor is caving out from under me,
"Not that too",
The walls are crumbling inward,
this is my HEART :(

"GOD Take this pain from me,
The pain of losing someone I fell in love with,
But couldn't love me back,
Lead me away,
To never love again,
To live and die this way,
ALONE."

So "grieve" not,
Because we lose the ones we love,
It's human nature,
NOoooooooo,
Not human nature,
It's all the living,
All of us life beings,
We are all the same in this aspect,
We love,
We lose.
That's the way it is!

So goodbye LOVE
I will never see you AGAIN
This is a final GOODBYE
I don't want YOU
Cause you will only HURT me again
Forever
Never
Ever
More.

"I'm not SPECIAL,
I'm just CRAZY,
That's just what this world has MADE ME."

Broken Heart Set Free

Feelings?

What are they?

You form feelings for people that don't form feelings for you?

And vice-versa :(.........

You break hearts...

And hearts break yours.....

I don't want to LOVE any more

I'll just care about everyone equally

Be there for my fellow Human Beings

My own species

I couldn't even say goodbye

I can't say goodbye anymore

"The saddest songs ever played are the ones that are never heard"

DREAMZzzzzz

Dreams are sacred,

keep them to your self.

People will trample,

and stomp,

your dreams.

Till they're tarnished,

toiled,

and tainted.

You resurrect,

rekindle,

and recoil your firing,

to TRUST again,

just to be,

thrown to the wolves,

again,

and again.

Your heart becomes closed,

into a black-hole,

a void of darkness hidden away from people,

hidden behind the void,

a candle lit in the wind,

hiding behind blocked hands,

kept alive in fragments,

LIGHT, 

heart opened up to GOD,

warmth. 

But in the END,

you've made it to the light.

To HEAVEN :)

GOD :(

The Break-Away

"As hard as it is to say goodbye, it's even harder to stay in contact."

---------------------
The Break-Away
---------------------

IT!!!!!!!!
People
My Own Species;
It hurts,
It bruises,
It punches,
It wounds,
It punctures
and leaves you in a constant state of mourning.
It breaks your heart
over and over again 
leaving shattered scars,
scattered.

I will never let IT hurt me ever again

THEY!!!!!!!!
Life
Born into it without an option,
Without guidance.
Promises! Promises!
LIES
Imprisonment 
BeautifulHorror
Freedom thru Madness
My only Escape

They build up hope
just to tear it down.
They create you
just to not let you create your own world of happiness out of your dreams

;
The Break-Away
;

DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!
is what 'IT THEY' sells you,
FEAR! FEAR! FEAR!
paralyzing you from(everything).
So you walk away from the, 'IT THEY' and stick with the Almighty, *I AM Who I AM*, Eternal.

Through The Pain: I've learned goodbyes are much easier.

BLURZ REBORN

11/11

It has finally arrived! 
The *AWAKENING* I've been searching for!!

I Owe *GOD* Everything!!!

*PRAISE*!!!!

Eternal Enlightenment!!!

No Fear!!

=Happiness!

11/11/15 3:07 AM - And for, "40 Dayz and 40 Nightz" he *Cleansed* himself of his Insanity; and became *re-purified*.
*Redeemed* of all Sin.
And everywhere you walk you will touch peoples *Souls*.
And overcome adversity,
And Unify The People.
They will reach out their hands,
And you will give them, *STRENGTH*.
And they will pass along that strength.

And us Warrior's Soul's Will Shall Never Break, Nor Stray.

Our *Light* will overwhelm the darkness.

There will be Freedom for you will Dream?:=

With *Cleansed* Eyes, You will See?:=

UNBREAKABLE WILL

Never to Stray from the Path again))))))))))

Live?

I don't know how I'm feeling?

(STRAIT FROM THE PSYCH-VAULT)

I don't know how I'm feeling,
is a feeling.

I'm feeling FLUMMOXED about feelings
But someone once said, they feel "Listless" {:~D
You can't get more expressive than that.

I'm writing this whilst in a, -'partial hospitalization, psychotherapy program'-.
, and when I say, "psychotherapy", that's just something that I do;
[always over-exaggerate everything into hyperbolic oblivion.]

I'm sitting here sweating profusely(hyperhidrosis disorder)
Listening and Learning.
Speaking and Observing.
... ...Absorbing and Discerning - with the Quicknessssssssss

Rebirthing my Stone-

Reborning my Sword-

Double-Edged and BROAD...,
FIERY & dipped in FLAMEZZZZZZ
Ohhhhhhhhh? Back to the "FEELINGS?"
(...)(...)(... ... ... ...)(hmmm?)

/I guess that says it all\

BLURZ - Horror Movie Ideas; "DishEVILed"

Disheveled: (of a person's hair, clothes, or appearance) untidy; disordered.
(just end up posting on Halloween/All Hallows' Eve/All Saints' Eve, is fitting)

This story is about a middle aged man named, Lomax.
Lomax is a down on his luck, mentally ill, addicted, unshaven, unbathed, slipper/socks/robe wearing loner, living off disability in a tiny one bedroom apartment, with no drive to do anything.

And just his luck he ends up catching the eye, the intrigue and attention of a mischievous devil at the disability office as he's walking with slippers, a robe, with a hot cup of coffee that someone ends up bumping into him and spilling all over him and all his paper work for disability. And at this time you have this completely MAD devil(that no-one can see, of course)smiling like a kid in a candy story, and seen thru the devil's eyes as the camera keeps movie closer upon Lomax, very intensely. This devil has found his next 'toy to play with'.

The story goes from here as this devil starts to cause an already, unstable guy, to completely start losing his break from reality.

Starting off with little persuasions and illusory hallucinational powers(and much more), till soon the devil will be reveal itself to Lomax and temp him of his SOUL?

Will Lomax finally have the motivation to do ANYTHING as his very life and soul now depends on it.(oh, yeah. and Lomax has been an atheist his whole life, so this is a real kicker to the SOUL(heehee).

Will Lomax survive this crazy demon?

[Well, that's just a briefing of the basic idea]

It's based on a loner, so basically with swift over-dramatic, traumatic camera work, to keep it based on these TWO characters, instead of adding more characters and boring plot, we just kick it off and work with the horror between these two characters.

Ciao! 

GOODBYE

"The saddest songs ever played are the ones that are never heard." ~ BLUR

This is a goodbye.

If I ever make it out of this alive, I'll be a different person.

I have to disappear and prepare for the end because staying here is not an option.

Sometimes there is no hope because you've arrived to late.
You didn't make it in time.

You have to live and die with that.

Can't make it thru the days anymore,
I see no solution,
no path,
no opportunity out of this mess.
So that's when you have to let it all go.
You've fought hard.
You've fought for nothing,
you wish you could take the fight back,
you regret fighting.

My only hope left is that one of them come soon;
The End or The Beginning.

My only hope left is praying for a miracle.

GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD 

NOW WHAT?

I've been thru so much?

I'm ready for WAR;

But I don't know what to do?

The only thing I know, is that I

I wake up tomorrow to a new life,
and I don't even know how to proceed?

Everything feels fresh,
the past has drifted away?

My mind is brand new.
I am a completely new person?

If you are ALIVE?
And you have a chance to break away from it all,
to discover,
to search within,
to dream,
to really be happy;
=TAKE IT

Your dreams are the only real roads, all the other roads are illusions that lead you to 'Dead-Ends'.

Tomorrow I wake up from my nightmare, and I dare to dream.

Give it all to GOD

The Relief you feel, When You Let It All, GO!

It is *Time* for you to finally 'Let-Go',
Of your worries,
Your fears,
Your pain,
Anxieties,
The Physical,'
The Material,'
WORLD!
to 'Let-Go' of the weight, of,
The Future,'
The Past,'
Death,' 
Life,'
to be BORN anew, in SPIRIT.

LET IT ALL GO!
(FREE YOUR SELF)

REJOICE :)