DIARY: Unhappy Horrordays 2017 - I'm BACK

It is the holidays(BAH HUM BUG), December 16th, 2017, in case 
you are reading this in the future, or the past?

So much going on, been away so long, and learned a lot about life, and even something new that I am facing right now, with a philosophy that, if you are a broken, shattered, damaged human being, like I am, leave those shattered pieces exactly where they are, just walk away, and let go, and accept what is. That is where I am at now, but really I'm just tired of holding on.
And a philosophy and poem coming soon, about turning your broken heart, into your rebel heart, is what I'm fighting to do by January 1st, is the reason I had to unplug from the internet, I don't want to be alive, and all I feel is pain, I can't feel anything else at this point.(but I still strive)

I couldn't accept, and won't ever be able to accept, that most human connection is temporary, how bad I wanted someone in my life, broke me so bad, I'll never be the same, I'll never get over it, I am dead inside, and I won't ever get to see her every again, I am destroyed.  

And this is what I've been dealing with the past 4 months. 

And now I crawl into the new year, after being destroyed by a community, to build my own community now, a pain that, I don't want any haters in there, I have been hurt by people since birth, I am tired of it, haters are not welcome. 

Won YTOTW(youtuber of the week)from John Hagerty and Nay's Days, amazing people that have youtubers backs, and it was really nice at a place I had to vanish from the internet, and still need more time, not to heal, there is no healing, just to gather my strength and be forced to go on with life. 

That's it, I'm too upset to type much more, I'm so done with life. 

This has been unhappy horrordays, because I am one of those; cursed in love, forever alone, always unloved, Frankenstein, Joker, "don't even TOUCH me" types now, and that is the direction I am going down, cause the other direction is BLEAK 

SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE