HEART OF STONE(New Years Day 2018)

I walk into 2018, with a HEART OF STONE.

because the soul does not have a heart!

took me my entire life to realize this, something nobody wants to talk about, that the heart is a physical, temporary thing, the heart makes us weak because love thru the heart vibration is only temporary, that is a FACT, but if someone wants to get into the heart chakra or the pineal gland saying that these parts house our soul, then it is really our soul that we love eternally with.

my heart has been shattered and killed,
my heart is caged,
never to be touched or seen,
ever. 

my heart has never actually been touched,
my heart has only had to brace thee attacks of false love.

(should've never even heard the word love)
to be tossed away like trash,
changed everything.

I now view being human, as nothing more than a condition,
an ailment that we all have to face,
and sooner or later,
it'll get'cha. 

not me, no more.

I'm already gone.

and all I can say is, sorry to the people that do care, but if you've ever, REALLY, had your heart broken, you understand these feelings. But this is about, me never wanting to love ever again, to die alone knowing, I will never have someone I love pulled from me by sheer FORCE ever again, because I will never open my heart ever again, but will always have love for people, and this world will always hurt people we feel love for.

I'm sorry, I'm not sorry, I don't believe in human love anymore, for other people, yes, but me, I am CURSED, so can I have your permission my fellow human beings to walk away? Am I allowed to choose not to ever trust or have love, get away from me with that kryptonite, good luck with that stuff, handle delicately, it is a highly deadly toxin.

there is no moving on,
there is only erasing,
and I did so much of that,
I am different now,
but stained with pain.

and the past is already drifting way,
do you REALLY know what that means about, ALL OF THIS?

and you took a big part of me I will never get back.
scrambling to put the pieces back together,
overwhelmed but how many scattered,
shattered,
pieces there are.

It's not hard to figure it out, good luck.

how could I've known that I am a fighter not a lover;
Captain Obvious.

and THAT is what pain sounds like