the DEPRESSION and TRAUMA of PHILLIP(Korn Edition)

This is going to be RAW so buckle yourselves in.

A lot of this is about how 'human beings' hold us prisoner in life. Captive. Hostage. Their bizarre forms of abuses. Imprisoning our minds, and our dreams. Paralyzing us from advancing forward, building the life that we deserve. And because we don't do this to people, it is very ALIEN to me that people do this to me.

(#1)issue people go thru, is family.
(#2)is people you encounter on a daily basis.
Sometimes I feel we'd be so much better off choosing to walk this world completely alone, because people will not stop wounding.
(#3)is people that approach your life, they do not leave you alone.
They want to hurt, take from you.
(#0 before everything, is the ongoing desire for Love. To meet/find that one special person. This desire alone causes so many people so much PAIN)

There is this one type of trauma, I now call, "Deja Vu Trauma", defined as a traumatic events/places/scenarios/situations that keep reoccurring, that feeling of, "How many times have I been in this situation, before?", maybe you took your mother to the doctor with the car on an empty tank of gas, no money for food or water, your mother on her deathbed, and you having mental illness and people that supposedly care about your mother(forget about me, no one EXCEPT my mom cares), just seems a bizarre COINCIDENCE that people never seem to be around when the real suffering begins and your mother is in so much AGONY on her deathbed that she says she just wants to go home and go to sleep and never wake up. Maybe you have a cousins that if they were in your position you would've done anything for them, but no, they let you drown, with not an ounce of concern, ever. Maybe you've been parentally abandoned. Most of the men treat women like dirt, and the millionaires let their siblings just deteriorate and PERISH(die), not even right before their very eyes, nothing like pure neglect and not even having your suffering acknowledged you're not even worth acknowledging, you're purely invisible, that's even worse. What if certain people from your past view your blog rooting for your failure? What do you do when you are watching your mother fade away and all the people that "supposedly care" do nothing?

THIS IS PHILLIP'S?
(or the beginning of it)
(you'll be LUCKY?)

I now feel I don't want to say anything else, 
we'll just have to see what the future holds?

Many have hurt PHILLIP really bad?
But I BLUR am motivated to *CONQUER* everything!

When do you get to a place where you REBEL and kick EVERYBODY out of your life? Build your own world, and those that hurt you are not welcome? Cause it seems that that is what it takes? To FORGIVE maybe? To end the PAIN