BLURZ BIZARRO WORLD: HYPOCHONDRIAC DENIAL

"Self-destruction is like a ticking time-bomb, for it comes in many pieces, but if you can learn to get rid of certain pieces, you can stop the explosion." ~ BLUR

Well, this all started with me trying to quit caffeine two days ago, having a headache for two days straight, I just started to obsess again, "I'M DYING! THERE'S NO HOPE! TO HELL WITH IT!" I went down to two cups of tea, -one in the morning, one at night-, and ended up getting really angry at life, GOD, that I can't freaking quit caffeine. I can't ever just feel completely abstinent? And I'm determined to, if not for the only reward of pride in my self.

Anyway, the thing is, I would always say things like, "I'm not your textbook definition of a hypochondriac, for I never believe I'm going to get ill." Cause I'm really an optimist, but bi-polar SO I'M ALSO A FREAKIN PESSIMIST :(

A FUTURIST!!!(that get's me in trouble, too. save that for a rainy day)

So I'm sitting on the edge of my bed, with a realization hitting me like a TON of bricks flown off the side of one of China's fastest locomotive freight trains(slurpy breath in)...but, I mean, I don't use deodorant, I use lemon on my underarms. I use natural toothpaste and mouthwash that they are both like this brutal experience of ingesting poison. 

These are my first thoughts that just broke the chain of the realization that I have a completely new serious diagnosis I have to deal with, because it throws a monkey wrench into any possible progress, cause I'm trapped in this vicious cycle of starting to feel hope, and then hypochondria comes in to RUIN THE DAY.

HERE HYPOCHONDRIA COMES TO RUIN THE DAYYYYYYYYYY!
(just thought of a funny Super Man cartoon comedy parody, "Hypochondriac Man - Here to ruin your day.")

I wear gloves when I use my computer for crying out loud? :(.........

Welp!

It is, what it is.

At least, I know.

So now I have no choice but to 'Let Things Go'(Let-Go), cause I have to battle this cycle of starting to feel hope, to have that hope squashed if I get something as simple as a sore throat, so I have to live in the moment, let go of any hopes for the future.

You know? There's a lot of quotes from people throughout history that were really against this, "FALSE HOPE" - That it really is this, Let Down? Sayings like, "Better not get your hopes up!"

Seriously!

Well.

Great.

Got'ta walk into therapy on Tuesday with another monkey wrench to throw into my recovery.

I'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR YEARS!!!!!!!!

Alrighttttttt......... - >TO THE DOCTOR

JUST KIDDING, JUST KIDDING, I'M KIDDING.

I was in denial that i was a hypochondriac because I never go to the doctor(sounds like bad joke :( )

Obsessed with death=HYPOCHONDRIAC
(You might be a hypochondriac???)

CATCH'YA'LATER