Letting it all go.

"Family don't let family drown, and if they do, they are not your family."

"Inaction speaks louder than words."

(The pain of)NEGLECT:

The difference between abusive people and neglectful people, is that; abusive people you can't escape from because THEY won't let you go, but neglectful people have already let you go. It's up to you to let them go and move on.

I have this analogy in my head, that so many people have so many 'life-preservers', and you're out to sea drowning, and they don't throw you one of their MANY life preservers?

Where's the HONOR in that?
Where's the SACRIFICE?

=There is none!

It's a harsh realization I wish'd come to YEARS ago, is that, nobody cares.

There's nothing I can do about that. If people don't care about me, there's no doorway for me to enter, there is absolutely no way to connect to that.

When you realize that all people care about is their money; Money over family(loved ones)=it's time to go.

The reality is that money is their GOD.
They WORSHIP money. 
Means more to them than life itself(well, their life, no-one else's)

When you realize you have absolutely no WORTH to anybody, it's time to move on further out to sea where you don't have to have lay sight of them ever again.

I'm trying to move on!
But yet, another string, after string, tied to people from the past keeps reappearing. And none of them can understand these wounds, and how letting go of fake people that could only PRETEND to care, is completely necessary. 

You either; care or you don't.
You're either; with me or against me.

And if you neglect or hurt my mom=Fugget about it
That STAINS
That STINGS

and DOUBTERS(non-believers)are the worst.
I can smell doubters from a mile away.
They doubt your dreams with their, 'micro-expressions',
wishing failure upon you.

I'm finally FREE.
Cause PSYCHICLY,
I always knew?
I always had such an uncomfortable anxiety around my family spanning well over a decade. I was just blind to see that none of them ever really cared.

It's like removing a silverback gorilla from your,,,?,,,BACK that is,,,?,,,holding you,,,?,,,BACK,,,?
(a huge, weight off)
(unsuffocation)
(I'm beginning to breath again) 

And when I think about what I would've done for any of my family if any of them went through what I went through? If the tables were in reverse and one of them was drowning and I had my life in order? I'd have done, ANYTHING, to help them get their life back, I was just never worth it to anyone. And all this time, I haven't been a lost cause. I've been fighting with every ounce of my WILL for *REDEMPTION*(And I SHALL Have it!!!!!!!)

This topic makes my blood boil, but when I see my moms pain, toppled on top of my pain, it just sets it off. 
But I can finally write about this, pain. And people live trapped in this -'blood is thicker than water'- type of thinking where they feel they're not allowed to walk away, but the truth is, most family's destroy each other, but mine was just a neglectful/uncaring lot.

This blog has ended, up here, cause of witnessing my moms struggles this morning, seeing how HORRORble she has been treated. Her heart is broken.

NO ONE CARES=Is The Truth

When she lets go of the people that have broken her heart, she comes alive(rebirth/reborn)at the end, and that is so true, and all she needs is GOD, because the scars from the pain they've inflicted, made her so dead inside, but letting them go resurrected her.

The pain I feel from them...