"THE ANGEL MAFIA": BLuRz - 365 Days of LETTING GO: LIFE or DEATH(Life Documentary)(Autumnal Equinox)

WARNING: THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE WHEN PAIN TALKS
I have been hurt by people since a child. The questions is, "when is enough, enough?", and if you are a person that has always been hurt by people, I want you to ask your self that question, and maybe allow your self, or give your self permission, to walk away and give healing a chance, this is about healing my heart and soul, and giving my heart and soul up to GOD for protection, and then maybe I will face the world again, with a WARRIOR STANCE?

The film documentary process of erasing my self,
of living ALIEN,
of choosing to completely break away from this world and all human interaction,
what some call "isolation" I call SOLITUDE,
and spiritual AWAKENING(ascension),
begins today.

Autumnal Equinox 2017:
First day of Fall/Autumn,
September 22nd,
exactly a month of brutal heartbreak,
my heart was shattered on the day of the Solar Eclipse of August 21st, 2017.(talk about Total Eclipse of the Heart, literally)

Realizing that the person I felt the most for, than anyone my entire life, I meant absolutely nothing to, it broke me down in a way that all the pain I have been through my entire life, caught up to me in that very moment where I realized she couldn't care any less about me, she never cared. I wasn't good enough to be in the precious perfect innocent little princesses life, I had no worth, no value, caused me to really reevaluate being "HUMAN", that has everyone fooled, but not me, I saw right to her core, since the moment I laid eyes on her;

the breaking point where I choose to walk away from this world,
with a harsh truth I must face,
that I am completely ALONE!
I have always been
no more denial
as people try to say "you are not alone"
oh I'm alone
so I want to be left ALONE
I'll embrace the loneliness
there is comfort deep inside that

(a)KING(one day)?

"a psychic is always haunted by the faces of truth and deception"
"a psychic can always see to everybody's core, and that is unbearable"

nothing like realizing you are completely alone even in a community.

feeling alone in a crowd.

I face the TRUTH

(and nobody will ever know how I was deceived, manipulated, used, drained of all my life energy from a narcissist)
And I feel on a psychic level people feel I shouldn't talk about what happened to me, or my pain, but that is not right, to live in a prison, to live in silence, as I start a documentary today nobody would even know, "what pain caused you to decide to break away form the world and human interaction for an entire year?" Answer; HEART-BREAK(hoping after today to never speak of this ever again, but part of letting go is to let the feelings fully be present so to release them, not suppress them)
I am alone in this world. Some people just are alone. It's the way it is meant to be, important to accept that. No friend. Nothing.
And human beings will resent a person for this, but that goes to show how foolish being human really is, resent me for choosing FREEDOM, really?
I DON'T BELIEVE IN LOVE ANYMORE!
Everybody better stay away from me with that love shit, love is kryptonite, love is supposed to EMPOWER a person, not destroy them.
Because without the love of a woman, all bets are off, no possibility of having any real human connection. I'LL ALWAYS WANT TO GO AND BE SAD ALONE DROWNING IN THE MELANCHOLIC PRAYER OF SELF-PITY
and it's too late for any of that anyway
this world has completely destroyed me
and I accept that

The next 365 days, is about letting go,
erasing all my memories,
dissociating into a brand new being,
where my past no longer exists,
erasing my SELF?